Oh Gay Cupid! Users are Window to the Soul, or something like that | Autostraddle

Welcome to

Oh Gay Cupid!

Autostraddle’s OkCupid collection. We obtain a lot of questions on Formspring with regards to internet dating, therefore we ultimately had gotten a lot of men and women together to fairly share it.


While OkCupid is not the only real online dating service for queers, and perhaps is not perhaps the best, it does seem to be usually the one we make use of frequently. We will end up being speaking about everything OkC, including conference pals, first times, pages, fuck-ups, letdowns and much more. Even though it’s the ‘OkCupid Series,’ the recommendations given inside collection can potentially be employed to virtually any online dating site for gay

Oh Gay Cupid! drawings by
Rory Midhani

A long time ago, I made an OkCupid profile for a job I’d. I didn’t actually place any energy into it. Really don’t even understand what it mentioned as I’ve erased it completely. I not ever been a person that is looking currently if not trying to attach. Probably because I’ve never ever resided somewhere that situations coming while they may wasn’t enough to please my lesbionic interaction quota. In order a family member outsider toward OkCupid online game, I am proposing a possibly brand-new method of this internet dating video game to people ready to eschew norms and just take chances.

It appears if you ask me that a lot of users aren’t hits since they are either very non-offensive and never engaging that nobody is known as to motion OR so specific that very few people will bother.

No one wants to know much more about the way you „love reading“ because that exact phrasing is normally an indicator you don’t actually love reading and it is too broad proper to care and attention. Conversely, if you get therefore obscure that you are referring to just how much you adore Carl Muller, you’ll probably do have more success locating women in grad college and that is like a truly pricey OkCupid in any event.

People pretend that by reading a person’s profile you can actually familiarize yourself with them.

This obviously actually the scenario so why actually pretend?

I was thinking it’d end up being far better treat getting women on-line the same exact way We address picking right on up ladies in real life.

1. Have a hook

With OKC, the hook will be your username. A lot of people appear to have learned this art much better than We have. In a lot of situations, it appeared they simply placed two arbitrary ass circumstances collectively until it seemed vaguely insane and relatively interesting. Various other instances, people play off of actuality people or fictional figures. My name is

NotHilarious

which doesn’t precisely suit the routine but a few others that i do believe should do work tend to be SnarkyPretzel, GreenEggsandClam, and SaneMcCutcheon. Additionally something that sounds like a bad indie group is actually probs nailing it.

You have to offer men and women something to stick on to. Get a stance. Pick a side. Often it’s perhaps not about leading them to want you. It is more about making them want you to need them.

2. Be tongue-in-cheek

Subtlety helps make individuals pay attention. Even though you could be the a lot of earnest person in the arena and every word-of your profile could be real, everyone assumes you are putting on airs. Incase you’re not putting all of them on, maybe you is. Whenever everybody is wanting to place their utmost base ahead, folks tend not to just take things at par value.

You have to remember that fast superficial judgments is going to be produced about you.

The internet dating profile is actually a consistent fight of what it states versus exactly what it suggests.

Sample 1:

I invest the majority of evenings hearing jazz with a hot cup of tea within my arms and my personal vision throughout the performers.

Interpretation 1: You’re sleeping (68percent)

Interpretation 2: you are dull or boring as fuck (26percent)

Interpretation 3: me-too! (6per cent)

Example 2:

Currently I’m spending the majority of my personal free time elevating money for a 5K to profit the Blind Kittens of Africa Coalition.

Interpretation 1: Shut up (47percent)

Interpretation 2: end showing off (46%)

Presentation 3: Awww (7per cent)

3. Keep them hoping a lot more

An important takeaway is you’re probably weird and distinctive. Make that weirdness enjoyable and palatable, not off-putting and showy. Pick a tone and adhere to it. You simply can’t end up being a quirky but adorable jackass in one question immediately after which writing on exactly how your own grandmother drives you every day in the next. The profile should keep your readers entertained and speculating. Make certain they are need to inquire about the knowledge that other individuals provide. It’s area of the strategy that step three brings you straight back to step one. They can be intrigued and additionally they need to know more and the lack of factual information is the hook that will encourage them to send that message. For a lot of individuals who starting point is the toughest. They cannot see through things to say apart from, „hi.“ For this method they’re able to effortlessly merely ask, „Hey, precisely what the bang will it be that you really do?“ and you can move from here.

Obvi your own profile doesn’t have are as mysterious or barebones as I mine for the reason that it may appear drawing plus some people believe wanting to end up being witty can be pretentious to be unintentionally pretentious, however if you stick to those three basic guidelines, could improve the probability of at least showing up witty and intriguing even if you are actuallyn’t. I know I’m not.

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Share your profile protips when you look at the statements!